what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
