god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
