batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
