Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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