youre lurking in front of me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
