Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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