The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The feeling are messing with the penis
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
