I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Damn victory sex feels great
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
