so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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