the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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