I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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