so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
