I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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