In the future we'll all be gay
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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