i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
