How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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