I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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