In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
