woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
