Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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