I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
