So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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