Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
