what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
