Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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