dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
