i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
