the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
