i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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