i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
