well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
