yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
