Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
