My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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