the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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