He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
