god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
