why didn't you poke me back
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize