great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
