you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
