i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
