I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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