He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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