so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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