my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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