whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
