Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present