I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize