I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
