THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
