i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
