I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
