Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
