I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.