Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
