she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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