meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
