My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
