hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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