did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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