Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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