69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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