College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
