So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
