The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
do herpes really smell.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
