your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
im on a boat
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