A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Two words: nipple clamps
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