Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize